Mother Teresa said “if you are judging, you have no time to love” or something like that..
There are multiple gurus, sources, which advocate for the non-judgment movement
100% common sense
Aside from the obvious, to me Judgments is: a big dark cloud that clouds my judgment (this time I’m talking about perspective); a heavy rock on my shoulders, my mind, and my heart that affects my energy at all levels; a superiority trip with a strong emotional attachment (what I think the truth should be according to my view of the world). A block to fulfillment & purpose.
All well and clear?
Hopefully, or not
The current tendency is to avoid judgment at all cost. The different scenarios could be, but are not limited to: don’t look at it, don’t hear it, don’t smell it, pretend is not there and it never was; hide it in the deepest confines of your being; immediate disposal; it is the root of all evil.
Fundamentally there is some truth to all of those statements
As a firm, firm believer in the mantra: What You Resist, Persists…
…if I approach the subject of affection in any of the above mentioned ways, we’re in for a fight, I’ll be the wounded one, and judgment will still be here.
In my personal experience, ignoring the issue only makes it bigger, and what I’ve discovered actually is pretty simple: Judgment has a message to convey…and
We all want to be seen & heard.
My interest always is to understand what’s beneath the surface to make sure it does not come back to haunt me and, I have to start all over again with the same blah blah, been there far too many times…
So to be clear, it is the space that precedes and fuels such behavior that I am curious about.
Judgment is such a juicy topic isn’t’ it? So full of content!
Are you willing to look into it? Or perhaps, you have already judge your judgments without giving them a fair trial?
Either way..this is my invitation
Think of someone/something/ a situation that you are currently judging?
On a scale of 1-10, 10 being worst, what’s your judgment level?
What is the first feeling that comes up?
Can you allow yourself to feel it?
Can you name that feeling? Anger, sadness, excitement, yes, you read it right. More to come on this.
Can you release some tension around that emotion? Check if you are holding on?
Can you breath three times? deeply ideally
Now for a brief moment, bring in compassion, for your Self first. Under the blanket of judgment what we usually find is a lot of pressure on ourselves. Now extend that compassion to the external circumstance. Breath in this space for a moment.
Can you measure your judgment levels again?
They might have changed or not. Simply notice. This is not about solving, fixing anything right now, is about giving some tender attention to your reality.
Now to finish, on the subject of excitement. Idolizing and idealizing are both lovely ways to give ourselves permission to gossip. This form is subtle and wildly accepted. I adore you because you reflect my values/believes, because you agree with my view of the world, so….
What happens when you or they have a change of heart? When they are no longer in our team? Can you still love them?
When Judgment is UPSed to my front door, I accept the package knowingly that I might not like what’s inside, but I have resolved to look at life in this way: Either as a Gift or Education.
Now Mariona for goodness sake, can’t we just have an opinion?
By all means!! As human beings in relationship we may and we will. This is what keeps the world rolling. The difference between judgment and feedback is the space that precedes it. One comes from a place of fear with a strong emotional attachment. It feels to both like a wasp sting.
Feedback comes from a place of love. It has an open & fluid energy. Feedback says, hey buddy I am curious about you, your life, your circumstances, can we connect?
Feedback doesn’t either idealize or demonize because is not attached to the outcome. Are you a tiny bit closer to Love? Much love puppies. xxx