Imaging for a minute that you go to a 3-Star Michelin restaurant, you are over the moon excited, brilliant food, gorgeous environment, and the server comes (yes he comes); he hasn’t rested much, ate poorly, showed up late for his shift, had an argument with master chef, and to make up for all of the above, hit the caffeine pot. When he comes to your table, he’s dizzy, hesitant about the specials, and spills the wine on your man ☺…
Would you want this service?
Would you go back for more?
How is it making you feel?
Do you think the service of the soul might be any different?
In my humble opinion no, and the cure is Self-Care. Self Care often has a controversial connotation because most concentrate on the “self” part, also known as tunnel vision, but actually the principal here is Care, meaning among other things, strong fondness, responsibility and support.
So if you had strong fondness, held your self accountable, and supported you in every way, how would your life be different?
In all my experiences, both personal and professional, I have witnessed that unless you have resolved your purpose internally, the serving part cannot come, no matter how much you try. It looks like service, it feels like service, but it is not. If by service we understand to be helpful or useful.
If your vibration comes from a shattered base, which is the place from where you are serving, then the outcome is, of course, shattered and, wine spilled on your man. So if you care to serve, tend to the Self, first. Take the time you need to connect with your inner world, erase the word selfish from your personal dictionary, and get ready for the ride, because only when you are feeling whole you may be of real use.
DISCLAIMER: the above has got nothing to do with perfection, having it all figured out and so on, be careful not to fall for that trap (was tempted to say crap), it has to do with taking the time to understand who you are, what you stand for, your inner conflicts, what unique gifts you bring to the table and about nourishment, for…
How can you feed others if you, your deprived Self, is starving?
How can you show kindness when you are so hard on yourself?
How can you resolve conflicts if you haven’t learnt to forgive?
How can you share joy when you have ignored your request?
So yes, it takes time to be of true service, but there is no hurry, the journey is the life, and the pace, breaks & heartaches are all part of the road trip.
Once you have discovered what the particulars of your “care” look like (and that is precisely the essence of serving the self), then you can move on to Conscious Service, as I like to call it. Don’t shy away from this commanding adjective, conscious refers only to the integrity of the cause, not the magnitude. Being present with your child, preparing a loving meal for your loved one, walking your dog, is all service of the most conscious kind.
The more you work on your self, the more impact you may have. All the degrees, certifications I have, workshops I have attended, blah blah, come second to being, to being with the experience & and impact that those events had on me.
Such is the essence, how I personally processed the content and what I chose to do with it.
And that process requires time, I jumped into coaching, teaching because in the doing I was living and learning, but I understood that my level of service could only grow parallel to my level of commitment for expansion and care.
Now, if I may, I would love to ask you…
Why is someone else’s wellbeing more important than your own?
Where is the belief you hold that your life is of lesser importance, coming from?
Do you believe we all deserve abundance, love, and wellbeing?
Do you believe there is a hierarchy, like children & women go first?
This is what I believe, I believe we are all equally marvelous, no matter your gender, age or tendency, but what I believe has no regard if you don’t understand that at the core of your human experience, loving and feeling whole in this skin you have chosen is the key that will open the door to mastery, service and miracles (yes, I also believe in those, and angels, pardon my naivety).
And I also believe that we can always be of service, full time, part time, drive-through. It can take any form, a smile, a gentle touch, and an ear to a broken heart. It is not the quantity but the quality that matters, and always respecting and having reverence for your unique circumstances.
And with that, I leave you.. ella! As they say in Greece, go on and figure it out all by your SELF xxx
Much love, and remember…
Reach out if you need support living your best life, sign up for a 30 minute comlimentary session or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I’d love to hear from you xx